Well it's summer and
all of the trees are green, the kids are running around like wild
animals due to the lack of supervision, and all seems right with
the world.
Leave it to your' old
pal Yotamaster to burst that bubble right away. That's right I
am going to spin you a yarn about someone we all know and despise,
Idaho Bob. Who is Idaho Bob you may ask, Idaho Bob is the term
that I call all of the terrorists (I mean tourists, sorry) that
hit our highways and byways each summer in the search for adventure
and relaxation. Ohh can't you see it now, mid winter, OL' Bob
tunnin up the old 400 foot motor home. Stockin the fridge, changin
the oil (oh that's right, takin it to some mechanic to change
the oil), dumpin the shit that's left in the tanks from last summers
trip, helpin the wife pack and droppin that little yippin rat
they call a dog off at the groomers for one last wash and shampoo
before the big day (somewhere around late May, early June) when
they load up and head down the highway. Of coarse you can never
travel alone so (in convoy) behind him is his buddy Louisiana
Less, you see Less is a little bit less fortunate than Bob so
he only has a 300 foot 5th wheel tailor, and his trusty ford F5,000,000
turbo duelly 4 door diesel.
Forever
diligent in their pursuits, and in constant contact via the Radio
Shack CB combo pack they convienatly picked up somewhere along
the way, these two Road Ranger ride into each sunset with vigor
and a clear view, due to the line of 45 cars behind them that
they wont let pass. What's that sign post up ahead? Curves!!!!!!
careful Bob, you better enter this at 15-20 mph, that way you
know you'll be safe, and what the hell all of those honking speeders
behind you need to slow down anyway. I sure am glad your here
to protect me Bob, I have only been driving for 13 years and if
you weren't here to slow me down I might actually have the gaul
to do the speed limit. Oh and thanks for slamming on the brakes
when you saw that animal on the side of the road, oh and that
cute little store with the nic-nacs outside of it, I mean holly
shit if it weren't for you I would have just driven right by it
and not known if my brakes really worked or not.
I
am going to cap this one off early because I am sure you all have
meet Idaho Bob and his buds. I deal with these guys every summer
and I have to tell you, I LIVE HERE, I drive through the snow,
rain, sleet, and cold. Braving the elements, avoiding danger at
every turn, only to have some Dumb Ass, check his brain at the
border, come up here and think he's gonna teach the locals something.
Let me be the one to tell you Bob, your money is welcome, your
attitude isn't, and us here locals are pert near smart enough
as it is without you city fellers commin up here drivin somethin
40 times bigger than you ever rode in much less drove before.
Check
your mirrors Bob, because I'm behind you, and here.......its legal
to carry a gun, and there ain't nothin tastier than a freshly
washed poochie rat, cooked over an open fire.
