Hello
all and welcome to another rambling. This one is going to be freelance,
so bear with me please. I've been walking around lately paying
attention to my surroundings (a thing that usually annoys me,
so I hope you all aprietiate it) trying to find the topic of my
next issue. Then just when I thought all was lost, today it found
me.
Today
at work I was a crossed town when low and behold I saw him, the
tourist. He was an older man, as most of them are, I'd say in
his 50's or 60's. Walking his dog, and here is where my ramble
begins, wearing a black "my wife says" type shirt, thin
white boxer type shorts, blue dress socks, and old brown penny
loafers (pretty scene huh?).
Now
what I really need to know is when does this type of outfit become
ok to wear in public? A better question is, when does this become
fashionable to you? Lets face it folks, we've all seen them, the
plaid shorts, dress socks, Hawaiian shirt wearing old timers,
that on top of being crotchety and having no fashion sense, always
seem to travel in packs. Don't we all avoid the caravan of motor
homes on the highway? You know, the ones that go 25 mph through
the corners then 70 on the straight always. Where are these peoples
children? Isn't there anyone out there letting these people know
that, HEY, plaid shorts and a derby just Don't go together.
I
am sure (and my wife has told me several times) that I am headed
for nothing less than being the old bastard that loves to whack
stuff with his can, but dam at least I'll look good doing it.
I Don't have a problem with old people, on the contrary, I hold
them in the highest regard. They fought for and built this country.
They are our past and (looking at the generations coming up) one
of the things this country should be most proud of. Its just that
maybe they need some kind of hip elder magazine, you know like
a "Vogue Over 50" or a "Grand Parent Glamour"
, something anything that can keep them from making us feel embarrassed
for them.
Alas
my followers, I do have to point out the other side of the story.
I am sure that when I reach 50 or 60 I could, at that point, give
a shit less about what anyone else thinks. Dam, as a matter of
fact, I would probably through on my best plaid pants and bright
yellow shirt, jump in my land yacht, and do 30mph in the fast
lane. Why? Because I'm 50 or 60 that's why. Because I've lived
longer than most, and Don't have to explain myself to anyone.
Well
I guess the answer Isn't as clear as I thought, and I'm sure (despite
this little rambling) that the enjoins will keep on giving the
finger to the old slow drivers, and laughing at their fashion
sense. While the old timers just moseying along, not really giving
a shit.
One last
thing to add, just a little side note to keep that melon on your
shoulders ripe. The other day while in a department store, I found
all of my favorite music. I couldn't believe it, stuff I hadn't
herd in years, all right there. Then I looked up and realized
it was the $2.99 CD rack. It hit me then that my cane wielding
days are moving in fast. I just hung my head, bought my CD's,
and left; another 30 minutes older than when in (but feeling 30
years). So the moral and meaning of this episode is, if your old
enough that your music isn't on the $2.99 rack, check what your
wearing. If your old enough that your stuff is there, go ahead
and get it while you can, but just steer clear of really bright
color combinations (just to be safe). Finally if your old enough
your stuff isn't there, just keep laughing at us smart ass, because
I have a cane with your name brighten alllll over it.
****WARNING**** 